


On a Porch Swing

by wisdom_was_here



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Hurt/Comfort, PTSD tw, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Sophie Foster has PTSD, keefe is a healthy emotional boi who helps sophie heal, no Fitz hate just sad, post-Fitzphie breakup, sophie helps keefe heal, sophie realizes she actually likes keefe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28413618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisdom_was_here/pseuds/wisdom_was_here
Summary: Sophie and Fitz amicably split after realizing they don't allow each other to heal, but in the process of Sophie's healing from the breakup and her PTSD she realizes how wonderful Keefe is to her and her eyes are opened to their mutual feelings
Relationships: Sophie Foster/Keefe Sencen
Comments: 28
Kudos: 32





	1. New Realizations

Sophie wiped her eyes, sniffling. She leaned back against the Panakes tree, but a knob of wood jutted into her back, pushing her out of her thoughts and making her realize where she was. Looking up, she realized she was sitting under the Panakes, and that she had instinctively gone to a place that had meant so much to her and Fitz. Here was where some of their big moments had occurred, where he nearly kissed her, where they had cuddled and comforted each other after hard days. Her heart broke at the thought that even now, after they were over, she went here for consolation.

Fitz hadn’t done anything to cause an end to their relationship. But they were just hurting too much, too messed up, both too broken, to be with each other. He had his issues and she had hers and when they talked about them, which rarely happened, it never went anywhere productive. It usually ended with them crying together, which was helpfully cathartic, but not much progress towards healing. Or they would just stew in their pain together, not moving forward, just wallowing further in grief and anger. It was bringing them both down, and when they started talking about it, they realized how little good they were doing for each other, and decided to part. Sophie had held it together long enough to agree to stay good friends, and plan for maybe getting back together after they were both doing better. She saw him to the door calmly, giving him one last kiss and hug. And then she went outside and started walking. 

She had been walking around Havenfield for a long time. At some point, she didn't know when, she'd started crying, tears slipping down her cheeks unnoticed as she walked in a daze of thoughts and memories of Fitz. Their first kiss. Them dancing at parties. Meeting at the lockers in between classes at Foxfire. Him pulling her into a quiet corner to share a kiss while students around them talked and laughed, not noticing them wrapped in their own little world of each other. Birthday presents. The teal pendant he gave her. When they became Cognates. When he gave her the Cognate rings. When they finally confessed their feelings for each other. Their first date. Their most recent date, when they had spent a good half hour making out against a tree on the grounds of Havenfield, after picnicking in a beautiful meadow. The list went on and on as moments from before their relationship to the very end twined together in a hazy mist of memories. 

But she also remembered the bad days. The hard ones. The ones when Fitz, in a fit of anger and pain, lashed out at her. Or when she pushed him away with hurtful words, wanting only to be alone, curled up on her bed, closing her eyes tightly to shut out the pain. When they held each other, silent, after waking up screaming from nightmares. They didn’t talk, didn’t do anything but try to bottle up the emotions.  
That made her think of Keefe. Keefe, who always made her talk, made her let her emotions out. Talked through his issues, listened to her speak through hers. He always made her feel better and she hoped she did the same for him. Ro made him listen to her pep talks for a reason, she supposed. He was wonderful, really. 

She wondered if he was free to hang out. Not right now, not when she was so upset, and doubtless had a red and puffy face as well. Especially considering he would know immediately that she was very upset. She didn’t want to talk about Fitz with him. Not anytime soon, at least. That would take a while. But she realized now in surprise that Keefe always made her feel better, and even though he, too, was a little broken and sad, he had a healthier way of going about it. She could see him healing more easily than Fitz or herself. Wiping her eyes, she realized how much she wanted to see him now, wanted to put her head on his strong broad shoulder and laugh at his silly jokes. She wanted to curl up in his arms and let him hold her until her troubles lessened. And she wanted that as soon as she could manage to hold herself together enough to convince Keefe she wasn’t the emotional mess she currently was.  
Standing up and dusting Panakes blossoms and bits of grass off her clothes, she headed for the back door, hoping to slip inside and avoid seeing either of her parents. She didn’t want to talk to anyone about the breakup. She just wanted to see Keefe. She told herself it was just longing for a sense of normality, where the fact that she was no longer Fitz’s and Fitz was no longer hers didn’t push itself so aggressively into her head.


	2. Mallowmelt or Companionship?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie hails Keefe to get the okay to come over, and Vertina hears more information on why Fitz and Sophie broke up.

Sophie slipped inside the mansion of Havenfield by the back door, hoping to avoid her parents. Sandor had gone inside to give her some privacy, and her other bodyguards were around here somewhere, but distanced enough to let her cry in peace. She walked quickly but quietly through the hallways, but fortunately it seemed Grady and Edaline were outside working with the animals. Climbing the stairs to her huge room, she opened the door, walked inside, and fell face-first onto her bed, feeling the tears start to come again. 

A few teardrops ran onto her comforter, but she pushed herself up sharply, wiping her eyes.   
“No. I’ve got to stop crying.” 

Determined to be calm enough to see Keefe, Sophie walked briskly into her bathroom and rinsed her face with cold water a few times. She wet a washcloth with some facial toner and pressed it to her swollen face until the redness receded and the swelling started to go down. She studied her reflection critically, then pulled a brush through her hair, swiped on some lip gloss, and, after contemplation, put on the gold-flecked eyeliner her friends thought was so pretty on her. (She told herself it was just to hide the fact that she had been crying.)

Walking purposefully into her room, she squinted at her clothes, frowning. Dirty, covered in bits of grass and Panakes pollen, they certainly needed to be changed. She shucked off her tunic and pants, tossing them into her laundry bin, then walked into her closet to see what was available. She pulled out a purple fitted tunic and put it on, stepping into her favorite pair of pants, a high-waisted royal blue pair that were reminiscent of her favorite pair of human jeans. She added a pair of boots and grabbed a cloak, as it was cold in the evenings during this time of year. 

She decided to hail Keefe and see if he was free. She hoped he was. If he wasn’t, she would change right back into some sweatpants and a cozy tunic and curl up under some blankets with some mallowmelt for the rest of the evening. But she didn't much want to wallow in her sorrows right now.   
Keefe picked up on the second ring. “Hey Foster! What’s up? Did you miss my awesome hair so much you had to call me?”  
“Hey, Keefe.”  
“What, nothing about the hair? I’m embarrassed for you, Foster. You should be missing me. Actually, you should be asking right now if you can come over, because then I can say yes and avoid doing this boring Elvish History homework.”  
Ro butted in. “Please get me out of this! Lord Funkyhair here won’t stop sniveling about how boring it is! Not that it isn’t extremely boring listening to a bunch of puny elves boast about how awesome and sparkly they are, but I don’t have to do the homework, so I don’t want to hear about it.”  
“Well, actually, I was in fact calling to see if you wanted to hang out,” Sophie said, once she could get a word in edgewise.   
“YES! Foster wants to hang out with me!! Score one for team Foster-Keefe! Wanna leap over now? We can eat mallowmelt and annoy Ro with our awesomeness!”  
Sophie laughed. “Sure, Keefe! I’ll be there in a couple minutes.” She hung up and pumped her fist at the thought of seeing her friend. Grabbing her Imparter and stuffing it in a bag with a few other things, she called to Vertina. “Vertina! How do I look?”

Her mirror came to life with a smirk. “Whoa, you all of a sudden care? Who are you seeing? Is it that Fitz of yours?”  
His name hit her hard, and Sophie winced. "I might as well get used to telling people we’re over", she thought. “No. We broke up today.”  
Vertina paused for a minute, looking embarrassed for once. She said softly, “I’m sorry.” Sophie was surprised at the usually cocky and smart-alecky mirror’s compassion, but she appreciated it. She also didn’t know what to say in answer to that, so she just went with a simple “Thanks” and a half smile. 

She continued, “It was for the best, I think. It hurts like hell, but I’ll be alright eventually. I just hope Fitz is okay.”  
Vertina looked annoyed, saying, “Girl, you need to stop thinking about him. Wondering how he’s doing won’t help you get over him. Focus on yourself and getting over him. Why’d you break up, anyway?”

“We’re hurting too much,” Sophie explained. “Fitz and I are both struggling emotionally and we aren’t--I mean weren’t--helping each other heal. We have to become more happy and emotionally stable before we put emotional energy into a relationship, and I started to realize that recently. When I talked to Fitz about it today, I didn’t know if I wanted to break up, but he said he’d been thinking about it too, and thought it would be the smartest thing for us both to separate. We talked it over, and I agree with him. So that’s the end of us. We’re both sad about it, but I hope this means we can grow and heal more.”

Vertina whistled. “Wow. Well, I’m sorry you ended things, but it sounds like it was a smart thing to do. Anyway, you asked me how you look. I think you look great, but I’d suggest a hair clip to pull your hair out of your face.”   
“Thanks, Vertina, but I’ll pass this time,” Sophie said with a shrug. “I don’t really want to have my full face exposed to the world today.”   
“Okay, I get it. Have fun wherever you’re going!” Vertina said, clicking off. 

Sophie grabbed her bag, quickly wrote a note to Grady and Edaline explaining where she would be, leaving it in the kitchen for them to see when they came inside. “Sandor! I’m going to Keefe’s! Coming?”  
Sandor walked in from the living room, where he had been reading on the couch. “This is random,” he said in his squeaky voice. “Any particular reason you’re going to Keefe’s after breaking up with Fitz?” He sounded a bit suspicious.   
Sophie raised her eyebrows at him. “No, not really, just wanted a friend right now.”

“Okayyy,” Sandor said, still seemingly unconvinced. “Let’s go, then.” They headed to the LeapMaster and disappeared into a ray of light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended being longer than I thought it would be, but I'm just taking it step by step! Thanks for reading!


	3. Plans Made Over Mallowmelt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keefe and Sophie settle in for a long day of games and fun, planning it over mallowmelt and butterblasts

Sophie leaped to Candleshade, stumbling a little as she hit the ground. She knocked on the front door--a bit shyly, she didn’t know why. She’d been to Keefe’s house a few times before, although most of the time they hung out at school, Havenfield, or even at Everglen with the Vackers. Still, it wasn’t weird for her to be there. There was no reason for her nervousness, she told herself. She took a deep breath as the door opened to reveal Keefe standing there with a broad smile on his face, Ro standing close behind and smirking. 

“Hey Foster! Come on in!”

Sophie stepped inside, reaching to give Keefe a hug in greeting. He opened his arms a little surprisedly, unused to this show of affection, but happy for it nonetheless. Ro and Sandor exchanged a knowing glance without either elf noticing as Keefe held onto her for several seconds, Sophie drawing comfort and strength from his strong arms. “Why so affectionate, Foster? Did you finally realize how much you love me?” 

Sophie blushed, letting go of him as she realized how long she had held on. “I just wanted to say hi.”

Keefe smirked. “Keep telling yourself that, Foster. Keeeeep telling yourself that. Anyway, now that you're here, what do you want to do first? We’ve got mallowmelt in the kitchen, or we can chill in my room and eat later. How long can you stay?” he asked. 

“However long Grady and Edaline let me, I guess. Since we’re on winter break I don’t have anything I need to do today...or like any day this week,” she realized with a laugh. “It’s so nice to not have anything I need to do.”  
“It really is,” Keefe agreed. “How did you do on midterms?”  
“Pretty well, I think,” Sophie admitted. “I barely squeaked by with an "A" in alchemy, but I did it! What about you? All “A”s as usual?”  
Keefe nodded, smiling. “Nicely done!" he said. "You know, I think that merits mallowmelt. C’mon!” He grabbed her hand, twining his fingers through hers as they stepped onto the vortinator to go to the kitchen. 

Keefe jumped off the vortinator, landing sturdily on his feet, while Sophie would’ve fallen over upon landing if it wasn’t for her hand in his. He pulled her to a standing position and let her hand go, suddenly conscious that he was still holding her hand. She hadn’t minded; it was nice to have someone holding onto her. She missed his warmth and closeness all of a sudden.  
Keefe opened the fridge, looking inside. “Hmm… we’ve got mallowmelt, butterblasts, and ripplefluffs… what do you want?” While Sophie considered the options, he pulled out two bottles of Youth, handing one to her and opening one for himself.  
“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” she eventually decided to say.  
Keefe looked at her suspiciously. “Oh c’mon, don’t be polite with me. I know you’ve got your eye on something. What is it?”  
Looking a bit guilty, Sophie shrugged, replying, “I guess I’ll go with mallowmelt or butterblasts, whatever you prefer.”  
“I’ll get you a little of both, Foster, cause I’m nice like that,” Keefe said with a knowing smirk. He cut pieces of mallowmelt for them both and added butterblasts to two plates. “Shall we go to my room, then?”  
“Sounds good to me,” Sophie agreed. They left the bodyguards in the kitchen, where they were munching happily on some treats of their own.

In Keefe’s huge room, they sat cross-legged on the floor, munching cheerfully. Looking up from his plate, Keefe leveled a knowing eye at Sophie, who was concentrating on eating her mallowmelt without getting any of the sticky cake on her face. “Now, Foster, what’s up? It’s not normal for you to just hail me and ask to come over. Usually you’re off with Fitzy staring into each other's eyes and stuff. Plus, I can tell that under your calmness, you’re kind of upset. Are you two okay?”

Sophie sighed. She supposed there was no avoiding this conversation eventually, so she shrugged sadly and replied, “Not really. We broke up this morning. I was trying to calm down before I hailed you so you couldn’t tell how upset I was, but I should’ve known you would be able to tell.”

Keefe’s eyes widened. “Really? Gosh, Foster. I’m so sorry. But why would the all-powerful Fitzphie end things, if you don’t mind telling me?”

“We aren’t good for each other, Keefe. Sure, we get along well, we like each other, all that, but neither of us were helping each other heal. We’re both struggling a lot and have been for a while with nightmares and flashbacks and mental health problems. And we aren’t helping each other heal from that. I guess we both are hurting too much to be able to listen and help each other. Neither of us really wanted to break up, but we talked about it today and decided it was probably smartest for us both.” Sophie lowered her head in sadness, as tears started slipping down her cheeks. 

Keefe stared at her in surprise, opening and closing his mouth a couple times in an attempt to find something to say. He finally decided on, “I’m so sorry, Sophie. That’s really hard, but it sounds like you made the right decision. Is there anything I can do to help?” He reached out awkwardly, patting Sophie’s shoulder a few times and then resting it there comfortingly. 

Sophie wiped her eyes, sniffling a bit. “You’re here. Thank you for always being there for me.” She smiled sadly at Keefe, realizing again how wonderful of a friend he had always been to her, even though he made mistakes at times. 

“Of course, Foster. I wouldn’t miss a chance to live up to my position as president of the Foster Fan Club,” he replied, smirking. “Besides, you’re so cute, why would I miss a chance to be with you?” Sophie knew he meant “with you” like he was near her, but part of her wondered if there was a double meaning… and if she wanted there to be a double meaning. 

“Would you like a hug?” Keefe asked, bringing her back to where they were. Sophie blinked a few times, nodding, and as he reached for her, she buried her face into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. She melted into him as his strong arms held her until she let out a deep breath and released her hold, wiping away her last teardrops. 

“Thank you, Keefe,” she said a little shakily, taking some final deep breaths. 

“Of course, Foster. Anytime you want a hug, I’m down,” he said, winking at her as she blushed. “Now what do you want to do? You can stay over as long as you want. Heck, if Grady and Edaline don’t mind, you can sleep over. It’s not like Daddy Dearest is going to be around to care.”

Sophie looked surprised, then intrigued. She thought for a minute, then replied, “I’d be interested in that. What would we do until then?” 

“Well, I have some games, and we could paint or sketch. You could do a painting of me. It’s impossible to make me look bad,” he said with a smirk, running his hands through his hair and pulling it roguishly over one eye. 

“That actually sounds fun,” Sophie admitted, laughing at his antics.

“You don’t have to sound so surprised, Foster. Want to hail your parents and ask them about tonight right now, or later?” 

“What do you think would be best?”

“I’d hail them now, but that’s just me,” Keefe said, shrugging. “I have sleeping bags and we could sleep on the carpet. I also have pajamas and whatnot you can borrow, or we can raid my mom’s closet to find stuff. That might actually be fun, to find some stuff we can make look less ridiculous...” He trailed off, looking mischievous. 

“Okay, I’ll hail them now,” Sophie agreed, pulling out her Imparter from her bag and typing in “Edaline,” then pressing the button to call her mother. 

Edaline picked up on the second ring. “Hey Sophie! What’s up?” There was the vague sound of roaring in the background, making Sophie wonder if they were feeding the gorgodon. Her mom had some purple juice smeared in her hair too, so it was likely. 

“Hey Mom! I’m at Keefe’s, and since we’re on break, we were wondering if I could sleep over at his house tonight. Is that okay with you and Dad?”

“Yes, that sounds fine,” her mother assented. “Do you need to leap home and grab some supplies first?” 

“I have some stuff of my mom’s that she can use, Mrs. Ruewen,” Keefe interjected, popping his face into the frame of the screen with a wave. 

Edaline nodded. “Okay, then. I’ll have my Imparter if you need something. Your bodyguards okay with that?” 

“Yeah. I only took Sandor and Bo, since Ro is here too. We’ll put them up somewhere. I’m sure Ro and Bo will be just delighted to spend a whole night together,” she said, smirking at Keefe, who started chuckling mischievously in the background. “Love you, Mom! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Sounds good, sweetie! Love you! Hail me if you need anything!” With an extra-loud sound of roaring in the background, Edaline hung up, leaving Sophie and Keefe to grin at each other happily. 

“So, now what?” Sophie asked Keefe. 

“Now, we finish our mallowmelt, and then I’ll get out the paints.” Keefe grinned at each other as he put an extra-large bite of mallowmelt in his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should an ACOTAR fan be left alone with fanfiction, a ship, and paints? Probably not, but don't worry, cause this fic is rated T. ;D Hope you're enjoying it as much as I'm enjoying writing!


	4. oh what a bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ro and Keefe make a bet dependent on some pretty emotionally fraught territory!
> 
> AN: I know this chapter is short, so I plan to post at least once more this week! I just sat down to write and this popped into my head. It seemed like a logical place to stop there, cause I need to go to bed now. :) enjoy! -roni

Sophie stretched her arms above her head, yawning. Paints were strewed on the floor around them in a corner of Keefe’s room. Keefe was lying on his back on the floor, a little paint in his hair. Beautiful paintings and just-okay paintings lay drying around him, products of Keefe's incredible skill and Sophie's average ability. He looked over at her and grinned. “Whaddya say, Mysterious Miss F? Time for another round of hide n seek? Or is it time to cuddle up with stuffed animals and let Auntie Ro sing you a bedtime song?”

Ro looked up from where she was trimming the ends of her bright purple pigtails with a dagger. “You wouldn’t get me to sing if my life depended on it, Pretty Boy.”

“Oh? Wanna bet?” Keefe countered, a devilish smirk starting to spread across his face. Ro met his gaze with an equally mischievous look as Sophie face-palmed, knowing where this was going. “Okay, Lord Funkyhair," Ro replied. "If Sophie somehow ends up sleeping in your arms tonight, I get--”   
Sophie and Keefe choked, interrupting her with simultaneous incredulous cries of “What??”

“You heard me,” Ro repeated herself. “If Team Foster-Keefe's Slumberfest turns into a Snugglefest, you have to call me ‘Mighty Warrior Queen’ for a month straight. If you guys somehow stay apart overnight, I will sing an ogre lullaby. Accept my terms?” 

“You know what? Fine,” Keefe said, a little color rising to his cheeks as Sophie turned beet red. “It’s a bet. And we’ll wait to hear that lullaby, cause I bet Foster will stay 10 feet away from me tonight after that bet. You just ruined your own chances.”

Sophie protested. “You can’t make bets based on stuff I do! That’s not fair to me!”

Ro snorted. “Like we never have before?” Keefe remained silent, as the implications of the bet he just made seemingly dawned on him. He avoided Sophie’s eyes and changed the subject. “Anyway… want a bedtime snack before we turn in, Sophie?” 

“Sure,” Sophie said somewhat grumpily, giving up on Ro, who had returned to her purple pigtail with a smug smirk. 

Keefe looked at her, grinning. “Race you to the kitchen! Last one there smells like ruckleberries!” He raced out of the room, heading to the vortinator. 

“Hey!” Sophie yelled after him in indignation at his head start, racing out of the room as well. 

“...Why don’t they just date already?” Ro muttered to herself once they were out of earshot.


	5. here we are, at the end of the road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie and Keefe play some games, until they come to an abrupt halt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I posted! School has been crazy. But I'm sticking with this fic! This chapter is extra long, to make up for the wait. Enjoy!  
> <3 roni

Later that evening, Sophie and Keefe spread out blankets and pillows on top of a cushy carpet on Keefe’s floor. Keefe had insisted on sleeping on the floor with Sophie, “to increase the awesome Foster-Keefe sleepover feel,” as he put it. 

They stretched out on top of the makeshift beds, grinning at each other with the excitement of the night. A couple bottles of lushberry juice sat nearby, as well as a platter of assorted desserts, Prattles, and popcorn. It was going to be a real sleepover! Ro had left the room for her own sleeping quarters, and they were finally alone. Sleep was far away still! 

Keefe jumped up. “Well, Foster, what kind of pajamas would you like? They’re all probably going to be too big for you, but there’s a possibility I’ve got some old ones in here that would fit you better,” he asked, shoving pajamas around in his closet. 

Noting his broad shoulders and height, Sophie mentally agreed with him. She said, “Whatever pair you want to give me works!” 

“Ooh, Foster, you might regret giving me that power. I think I’ve got a set of gulon footie pajamas that was given to me by an aunt years and years ago, and something tells me you wouldn’t be thrilled to wear those all night.” 

Sophie groaned, getting up from her cross-legged position on her bed and running into Keefe’s closet with him, making him laugh as she pulled out pairs of pajamas, holding them up into the dim light. Squinting at the patterns, she threw pajamas onto Keefe, while he threw them back at her, laughing. When pajamas were thoroughly strewn across the floor and both of them, they collapsed in a heap onto the carpeted floor, laughing. 

As their giggles died away, Sophie sat up, legs tangled with Keefe's and covered with pajamas. “Wow, Keefe, you’ve got quite the collection of pajamas!”

“Yeah, well, you know me, Foster. Gotta look good in my dreams!” He winked at her. “Which ones do you want to wear?”

“Umm…” She picked up a simple dark blue top and bottom set, covered in little yellow stars. It was smaller, too, stuffed into the back of his closet. “I think these will work. Let me try them on.” She stepped into the changing area of his closet, making sure she was safely behind the screen before pulling off her pants and tunic, and putting on Keefe’s pajamas. She shook out her hair, breathing in the comfortingly masculine scent of his clothes, and stepped out. 

Keefe studied her. The sleeves went a bit over her hands, as well as the cuffs of the pants over her feet, but they weren’t ridiculously large, and she had used the drawstring on the pants to keep them up. As he looked appraisingly at her, she blushed, and rolled up the pant cuffs and sleeves to a normal length. “What do you think? Too big?”

“Actually, Foster, you look even cuter than usual, if that’s possible. Colors look good on you!" He winked at her. "In fact, I think you should keep these PJ’s. They don’t fit me anymore anyway.”

Sophie blushed again. “Thanks, Keefe. Do you have somewhere I can wash my face?”

“Yeah, you can use that bathroom,” he said, pointing to a door attached to his room. She thanked him and moved towards it while he started putting pajamas haphazardly back into their place, pulling out a pair for himself in the meantime. 

In the bathroom, Sophie found a cabinet full of hair products. Looking through the bottles, she identified a face wash, which she used to wash off the eyeliner and other bits of makeup. Exiting the bathroom, she found the closet door closed, and curiously went to see what Keefe was doing inside.

“Knock, knock! What are you doing in there?” 

A muffled voice came from inside the closet. “Sleepover game #1! Find me in here! You can’t turn on the lights either.”

Sophie laughed, completely at ease with Keefe's goofiness. “Alright, I guess.” She slid open the closet door and stepped inside, the only light in the small room coming from the open door. She started pushing behind stacks and piles of clothes and peering underneath hanging ones, trying to find Keefe in the somewhat messy darkness of the closet. As her back was turned, he reached out from behind some hanging clothes and pulled her in, turning her around to face him with her back against a wall. He leaned his arm against the wall, propping himself up against it with his face just a few inches from hers. “Found me,” he whispered, winking at her. 

Sophie blushed. “Why are we whispering?” she whispered back. 

“Shh, it’s part of the game.” He smirked at her. “What do you want to play next?”

She then realized just how close they were standing, in a dark closet, with his arm practically around her and their faces close. And yet, she didn’t want to move away. She looked into his perfect blue eyes, studying his blond hair and strong features. He was so handsome. Why hadn’t she noticed before? And she was always so kind and so caring towards her, always ready to extend love and support. He hadn’t cared when she was unmatchable. He just worried about her. And it struck her for a moment that maybe he wasn’t just being friendly when he did that. Maybe… could it be? Could Keefe… like her?

“Sophie?” She came back to the present moment as Keefe quietly said her name. She realized she hadn’t answered his question, and now their faces were even closer together. She had to blink a few times to keep herself from staring into his eyes and forgetting where they were. 

“Yes, Keefe?” She realized with quiet surprise that he had said her first name, not “Foster,” like he usually did. 

“I…” 

“What is it?” she asked gently. It was so unlike him to ever be lost for words. His beautiful blue eyes stared into hers, filled with a passion that bordered on sadness. 

“Sophie, I…” He trailed off as she gazed at him. And then he swiftly closed the remaining space between them as his lips met hers in the first kiss Sophie had had since Dex’s failed one. But Sophie wasn’t thinking about Dex. Her arms wrapped around Keefe’s neck, returning the kiss as he pressed her into the wall, hand cradling her cheek, clothes surrounding them. And in that moment, any remaining sadness about Fitz melted away with the intensity of Keefe’s kiss. 

He broke away with a gasp, turning away from her and stepping back a few steps for good measure, running his hands through his hair with unhappiness. “I shouldn’t have done that. Not so soon after you and Fitz….” He seemed to want to say more, but, as he gazed, stricken, at her, he simply finished with an anguished, “I’m sorry, Sophie. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Oh, I’m --”

Stepping forward and putting her hand over his mouth lightly, Sophie interrupted. “Shhh. You have nothing to be sorry for.” She smiled at him. 

Keefe stared at her. “But you don’t even--”

“Don’t I?”

“Do you? I mean…. Foster, I like you. A lot. And I’ve tried not to get in the way of you and Fitzy, and I shouldn’t have kissed you right after you broke up. I’m sorry. But I really, really, like you.”

“I think I like you too, Keefe. And I don’t mind that you kissed me. It was wonderful.”

He stared at her, a smile beginning to turn up the edges of his mouth. “Really? You like me?”

Sophie blushed. “I-- yes. I do,” she said, as she realized her feelings. She hadn’t known how torn her heart had been between Fitz and Keefe all this time, but now that Fitz was out of the way, she started to realize it. While Fitz was wonderful, and she had liked him from the moment she saw him, that instant crush wasn’t enough to make them fully compatible. Keefe was the one she really was best with. And, finally, here they were. She wasn’t going to wait any longer. 

And with that, she stepped forward, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed Keefe, first tentatively, then more intensely as he returned it. Their arms wrapped around each other and Sophie had never felt happier, not even when Fitz used to hug her. Everything seemed right in the world, finally. 

They broke apart, breathing hard and staring at each other, not really knowing where to go from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you're mad at me for that ending! But I promise, there will be more, and it will be awesome. This fic is turning out to be pretty long and I'm loving it!
> 
> Funny note: I was working on it a couple nights ago and had just got to the part where Keefe is staring at her and saying, "I..." when my mom turned off the WiFi! I was so wrapped up in the fic lol and I was so mad I couldn't get to their kiss! XD But here we are. Hope y'all are enjoying this as much as me! I love seeing kudos and comments and knowing you're loving it. :) roni


	6. Sparkling Sleepy Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie and Keefe settle their plans and fall for each other all the more, as they finish out the evening with fluff.

“Sophie?” Keefe asked, staring into her eyes with a kind of wild electricity. 

“Yes?” Meeting his eyes breathlessly, she found the air knocked out of her again when she beheld the fiery joy in Keefe’s blue eyes. She felt a smile creep over her face.

He seemed similarly breathless. “Um, I—um. I can’t believe that just happened. I can’t—yeah.” He smiled sheepishly at her. “Um. What do we do now?”

Sophie blushed. “I don’t know, Keefe. What do you want to do?”

“Well…I want you to be my girlfriend. But I don’t know if that’s okay with you, or if it’s too soon after you and Fitz…” 

Sophie dropped her gaze thoughtfully, considering. He had a point. She and Fitz were trying to be friendly, but she didn’t think that immediately dating Keefe would go over so well. And she didn’t know if she was emotionally ready for another relationship when she was hurting still over Fitz. But she did know one thing: when she was healed, she wanted to be with Keefe. 

“Keefe, I really like you. And I want to be your girlfriend. But I think you’re right. It’s very soon after we—broke up. And I want to be sure that I’m not an emotional wreck, so I can be the best girlfriend ever for you. Also, Fitz and I—I don’t want to make it weird between you and Fitz because we immediately start dating right after I ended things with Fitz. I think I should probably wait just a little bit before we become official. But we can totally hang out a bunch, and do more of this—” She stepped towards him, blushing a bit while she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him quickly. 

“Is that okay with you?”

Keefe smirked. “It’s more than okay. Sophie, you’ll be the best girlfriend ever just by being my girlfriend, but I understand what you mean. Whenever you’re ready, let’s make it official. In the meantime…” 

He held her face in his hands and kissed her again, smoothly and lovingly, almost chaste, but still fiery and passionate and joyful. When their lips parted, he leaned his forehead against hers, both of their eyes shining. 

That was the thing that stood out most to Sophie about all of this. Being with Fitz had been passionate and sweet, but Keefe—Keefe was different. He was passionate. He was fun. And completely loving and giving, where sometimes Fitz had been stressful and pushy. The biggest thing that stood out, though, was the joy. Sophie felt such an overwhelming joy, even through her heartbreak, even though this was all so sudden and new. She was so happy, and she could see an equal or even greater happiness in Keefe. It was written all over his face; it was in the way he held her hands; it was in the way he smiled at her. But she could read it most plainly in his eyes: where he often held some sadness or stress, disguised by smirking and teasing, or longing (she now realized, for her)—now the only thing she saw was the greatest happiness Keefe had ever felt. 

\--LATER--

“Well…it looks like I might be losing that bet to Ro after all. But she won’t get to do what she’s been threatening me with in bets for so long after tonight!” Keefe smirked cheerfully at Sophie, while he pushed his pile of blankets next to hers on the floor.

“What’s that?

“Tell you that I like you.” Keefe laughed, and Sophie looked at him in wonder. He was so cheerful, so joyous, more than she’d ever seen before! She was amazed by the number of times she’d seen him laugh or smile at her, love and joy glowing in his eyes, just over the course of the hour since they’d first kissed.

And of course, they’d kept that up. On occasion they’d just look at each other, and he’d sweep her into his arms and kiss her. Sometimes they’d quickly share a brief kiss in the middle of a conversation. Once they were pillow fighting and she toppled over onto the pile of pillows on the floor from a blow to the side. He’d followed quickly, apologizing as he fell onto a large cushion. She forgave him with a kiss, and that one turned into a longer one, until they were kissing passionately in the cushions. And so forth and so on. 

“So that’s what Ro’s been holding over your head for so long!” Sophie laughed. “Oh my goodness, I am so oblivious! How did I not figure it out?” 

“I don’t know, Foster, but I sure am glad you did now,” Keefe replied, laughing again. 

She threw a pillow playfully at him. “Let’s hope Ro doesn’t inflict any permanent damage on you in future bets instead,” she said, winking. “I like my boys unmarred by ogre enzymes.” 

Keefe yawned, pressing pause on the human movie they were watching sprawled across their beds, which were now one big pile of blankets. “What time is it?”

“Hmm…11pm. We should probably go to sleep.” Sophie smiled sleepily at him. 

“Yeah…that’d be a good idea.” He dumped the remainder of a box of Prattles into his mouth, crunching down. “Brush teeth first?”

“Sure,” Sophie replied, standing up and offering a hand to him, which he grabbed, getting up as well. He followed her into the bathroom, pulling out a spare toothbrush from the cabinet and offering it to her. 

Brushed and sleepy, they climbed under the covers, snuggling up together. 

“You know,” Keefe drawled sleepily, “Since I’m going to have to call Ro ‘Mighty Warrior Queen’ for the next month, I only think it’s fair that you participate in that, considering that you played a significant part in getting me pulled into that.” He smirked at Sophie, who blushed, curled up in his arms. 

“That sounds fair,” she said between yawns. “Goodnight, Keefe.”

“Goodnight, dear Mysterious Miss F.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead as she fell asleep in his arms. And Keefe didn’t think there was ever a time when he felt happier than falling asleep beside Sophie Foster, the girl of his dreams, as her almost-boyfriend. He thanked whatever powers that be that led him here, as he fell into dreams of brown eyes sparkling at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that chapter! It was super fun to write. I loved making the fluff all poetic, and I got so wrapped up in the end that I started feeling like I could roll right into bed and fall asleep right now! (at 5pm XD)
> 
> Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I had to finish out the semester and take finals and drop physics and find a spanish course...and then I had writers block for a bit. But I hope to finish the fic strong!   
> <3 roni


	7. check my vital signs to know i'm still alive//but i'm not alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keefe helps hold her together, as always. They share experiences.

Sophie was helpless. She lay on the ground, grasping her arm, the bones shattered by shadowflux. All around her were the sounds of screaming as her friends were captured or injured by the Neverseen. Keefe lay unconscious near her, as purple shadows crept up his neck from his heart. She tried to crawl to him, to somehow help or protect him, but a force field snapped down around her, trapping her where she couldn’t get to her friends.

She tried to move, tried to grab a Panakes blossom from her pocket, but she was in too much pain to do so. Pain. So much pain. The darkness beckoned from inside her mind, summoning her to where there would be rest and no more pain. But she was tethered to consciousness by listening to the cries of her friends, who all around her were falling in pain as shadowflux shattered their bones. In that moment, the world seemed so far from the perfection the elves envisioned. And Sophie was outnumbered. She was powerless against the dark forces that always seemed to have the upper hand. And she felt utterly despairing, sinking into the darkness in her mind, searching for a quiet place. All she could feel was utter terror and despair as she reached for unconsciousness.

But then another dart of shadowflux sped towards her, jolting her into the world once again. Though she wriggled to move away, it hit a bone in her leg and shattered it from the inside. And another huge wave of pain coursed through her body. She heard screaming, but it sounded closer this time. She wondered who was making it, a moment before she realized it was herself. Screaming louder. Louder. Louder---

“Sophie! Sophie!! SOPHIE!!” Keefe practically screamed at her as she jolted awake from her nightmare. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“It was a nightmare,” Sophie sniffled, wiping tears away that she only just realized were running down her cheeks in buckets. Ro and Sandor stood at the doorway, summoned by her cries, she realized. They both looked concerned, but relieved that there was not a real threat. _Not real_ , she said to herself. _Not real. Calm down. It’s okay. Just breathe. Not real_ , she thought, repeating her usual calming words, hoping they would do a decent job of steadying her breathing and emotions. _It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. Just breathe. It’s okay. You’re safe now. It’s okay._ As much as she wished, though, they weren’t much help.

Sometime in the night she had rolled away from Keefe, and he closed the distance between them now tentatively, as if he might somehow hurt her just by touching her. “Can-- can I hold you?”

Ro and Sandor quietly left the room, letting him take care of the situation.

“Yes, please. Please, _please_. Hold me and never leave me! _Don’t leave me_!” Sophie cried softly, bursting into another round of tears. Her calming thoughts didn’t do much help usually.

Keefe scooted to her quickly, lifting her onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her as she cried into his hard shoulder. He rocked her back and forth, whispering, “Shhh. Shh. I won’t ever leave you. I will never leave you. You’re safe now, Sophie. Don’t worry. It’s all going to be alright,” in various combinations until her tears subsided and she calmed in his arms. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She sniffled, wiping her face with a sleeve. He reached for a tissue on his dresser and gave it to her, letting her blow her nose with it. “It was just another one of my usual ones. We were fighting the Neverseen and everyone was injured and I couldn’t get to you or anybody and I was trapped in a force field and couldn’t move and was in so much pain and, and there was just no hope—” She started crying again. 

“Whoa, whoa, okay. It’s okay. That’s not happening right now. We’re alright. You’re safe, and I’m safe, and that’s not going to happen. We’re so much stronger now, and Ruy isn’t able to trap you in any more force fields. Umber is dead and Tam is safe, so there’s no more shadowflux we have to fear,” he said, imagining what else her nightmare contained. “We have hope, Sophie. It’s going to be okay. Take some deep breaths with me.”

She breathed deeply with him, hiccupping for a minute before calming in his arms. “But tell me one thing, love. Do you get these a lot?”

She nodded against his shoulder, mumbling, “Almost every night.”

“Oh Sophie. Oh my precious, beautiful, wonderful girl. You don’t deserve that. I’m so sorry. I understand just what that is like.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I’ve struggled with nightmares a lot, about our battles just like you described, and my parents, and pretty much all the hard stuff we’ve gone through. Some nights I dream I’m still living with the Neverseen, or you’re captured and I can’t help you, or stuff like that. The worst is when I dream you’re dead for real this time. But you’ll get through it, I promise. You’re not alone. We’ll get through it together.”

“You promise?” Sophie whispered sleepily, wiping her nose. 

“I promise. Now, let’s get you cleaned up and ready for sleep again.” He gently let her go, and walking into his closet, pulled out a soft, clean pajama shirt for her, as well as one for him since it was soiled with her tears. He led her into the bathroom and helped her wash her face with cool water, then left her to change shirts while he changed his. 

Back in their mound of blankets, he wrapped his strong arms around her, and she nestled into his chest. 

“I’m so afraid that I’ll get another nightmare,” Sophie whispered sleepily, sounding like she was trying to fight back tears.

“I don’t think you will. But if you do, I’ll be right there with you to help you again. Just remember you’re safe here. I won’t let you go all night.” Keefe pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, holding her tighter. 

He was just dropping off to sleep when she whispered, “Keefe?”

He yawned. “Yes, love?”

“Thank you so much.”

“Of _course_ , my dearest Miss F.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So, that was a darker chapter. Not sorry. ;) 
> 
> I have PTSD and writing about this after suffering nightmares for over two years was really cathartic and therapeutic. I'm hoping to bring out the obvious stuff (to me at least) about Sophie's PTSD in the books and help her work through that, cause it seems like I never see enough about her mental state except for the nightmares all the time. I thought it would be very sweet if Keefe was to help with that. 
> 
> I think the chapters from here on out are going to be a bit on the darker side but there will be plenty of fluff and sweet stuff to balance it out. Thanks for sticking with me! Comments and kudos are ALWAYS appreciated. I would love to hear what parts/lines you liked, or your speculations on what's going to happen, or your reactions to the chapter. I would also love to hear if I tricked you in the beginning by making you think it wasn't a dream, cause that's what I was going for and I wasn't sure if it worked. :)
> 
> <3 roni

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for enjoying my fic! It's my first fic ever and I am enjoying writing it a lot. I recently broke up with a guy, and even though I'm not hurt much, writing this is proving to be cathartic and helping me work through my emotions. I plan for it to be a few chapters long. please leave any comments or kudos you want!
> 
> note: I don't hardcore stan either Fitzphie or Keephie, I just chose to stan Keefe for this fic. They're both great in my opinion, so please no Fitz bashing in the comments :)
> 
> <3 roni


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